Dorkus-Milorkus.com
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  • September17th

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    As Spring 2010 Fashion Week winds down,
    I’ve decided to post my favorite ready-to-wear ensembles to date.

    As you might be able to tell, I’m not a huge fan of anything billowy, baggy or flouncy.
    I love tailored clothing – clean lines, simple shapes and patterns.
    After looking at a ton of runway photos, it seems as if the following are heavily in-style for spring:

    - Muted colors, with the exception of a bold orange-red color
    that popped up in almost all the shows
    - Big short-shorts. For me, this is not good, as I look like a complete idiot in shorts.
    - Top hats. Yes, top hats.
    - Belted outfits.
    - Platform sandals.
    - Asymetrical fashions – mainly concerning dresses.

    Here are my faves:

    fashionwk10

  • September10th

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    Here is some footage of my dog, Baxter, hopelessly staring at my delicious breakfast that I won’t share with him.

    Ha-Ha!

  • February10th

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    For the life of me, I CANNOT get myself motivated to get into the gym. In all honesty, I’ve never really been the athetic, sport-o, “Hey, let’s go torture ourselves and run 3 miles!!!!” type of person. I can think of about eighty billion other things I’d rather be doing. Like drinking wine. But the flabs of skin that are now decorating the top of my favorite plaid pants (yes, I wear plaid pants) tells me it’s time to hit the eliptical, whether I like it or not.

    It’s amusing how friends and co-workers try to make it seem less torturous than it really is. “Oh just watch a movie on your iPod and time will fly by,” or “Just turn on some techno or something and zone out.” Zone out? Seriously? Nothing will ever take my mind off of the fact that instead of relaxing with a book or leisurely surfing the net, I have strapped myself on to a machine that makes me breath ten times faster than normal. Every second is an eternity.

    But again, the fact that Jessica Simpson is now looking slim to me makes me think that it’s time to shut up and put up. Or is it out? I get those confused.

    So, in exactly 1.5 hours I’ll be plunging myself into the depths of physical fitness hell. Pray for me. And my muffin top.

  • December10th

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    I can’t believe the holiday season is already upon us. It’s even more unbelievable considering the atmosphere here in the U.S. Well, the whole world for that matter. As I was decorating our petroleum-based fake Christmas tree the other night (I bought that bad boy before I dedicated myself to going green), I thought to myself, “Wow. It DOES NOT feel like Christmas at all.” I even purposely glanced outside at our snow-covered backyard to try to help me get jazzed. But man, things are just not jazzy. People are getting laid off. companies are folding (The Rocky Mountain News might be one of them), and folks in general are fearful for their jobs. My husband and I are no exception.

    My family has implemented a monetary limit this year for gifts. And while the limit is still a pretty nice sum (I’m an only child so our nuclear family is pretty small), it’s way less than what we normally blow on presents at Christmas. But there’s good and bad to this, really. The good – I really have to put some thought into gifts. This directly contradicts my instinctual behavior when shopping for gifts, as I’ve inherited my grandmother Daly’s natural inclination for “fillers” – aka., little gifts to fill in between the big ones. This in turn brings up another good aspect of our limited gift-giving: you really enjoy what you DO wind up getting. With no fillers to distract, complete focus is redirected to the gifts that really matter.

    The bad? Well that’s a no-brainer: less gifts. There’s nothing better than waking up Christmas morning to a tree that’s lousy with sparkly gifts. Actually – the only other thing that compares or might even be better is waking up to a big fluffy snowfall on Christmas morning. This is also something we might be going without this year, as the weather has been unseasonably warm. So much for sledding on Christmas day.

    So, like I’ve been saying, it sure doesn’t feel like Christmas. I’ve been thinking though – maybe Christmas has different meanings each year. Sometimes it’s about the gifts. Others it’s about trying to make it out of town to visit family during a record-breaking snow storm. This year, for me, I think Christmas is going to be more about people and food. Don’t get me wrong – the holidays have always meant family to me. But you take it for granted. And the food – I think the food has become a replacement for physical gifts.

    Like I said, this Christmas is going to be less than stellar for everyone. But, it’s times like these that help put things back into perspective. Probably the most important thing that I want for Christmas is to have family with me. And I will. Everything else is just filler, I guess.

  • November12th

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    Today the office celebrated its 12th annual Manwich Day with the usual pomp and circumstance. Three hours later I’m desperately trying to stay awake in the midst of a Manwich coma, and there’s no way in hell my button-up plaid shirt is going to stay buttoned anytime soon. I am filled with Manwich. Thick, rich, reddish-brown Manwich.

    As usual, Manwich Day officially starts with the “Blessing of the Pots,” which is traditionally performed by the “Earl of Manwich.” However, since the original Earl’s (Nate) departing, we are left, uh, Earl-less. One of our co-workers has kind of been filling in for the past few years, but judging from his less-than-enthusiastic attitude regarding all that is Earl, his days as fill-in might be numbered. At any rate, the Earl blesses the pots with a quick, poignient speech, and then we (the Manwich partakers) bust out with the Manwich Song, which goes something like this:

    (sung to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”)

    Oh Manwich Day, Oh Manwich Day,
    Oh how we love your zestiness!
    Your sauce so thick
    In wintertime,
    And Nancy’s beef
    Is past its prime
    Oh Manwich Day, Oh Manwich Day,
    Oh how we love your zestiness!
    Though you dwell,
    Inside a can,
    You’re more gourmet
    Than most can stand
    Oh Manwich Day, Oh Manwich Day,
    Oh how we love your zestiness!
    (part of the uncensored version, written by Nate himself):
    A boy named Nate,
    Grew strong on you,
    We don’t use pork
    ’cause he’s a Jew
    Oh Manwich Day, Oh Manwich Day,
    Oh how we love your zestiness!
    After we’ve sung the Manwich song, we are free to dive into the many bubbling-hot crock pots of Manwich. Several people actually have thought-out plans of attack for Manwich: there’s the Open-Facer (top and bottom part of hamburger bun piled high with Manwich), the Traditional (small hamburger bun with normal helping of Manwich), the Big Boy (big hamburger bun topped with hefty portion of Manwich), and The Straw Hat (bun-less Manwich glopped onto a plate of Frito chips). Needless to say, I dived right in with a Big Boy, topped with coleslaw and shredded cheese. Mama. Conversely, my hubby (who works with me) always starts with an Open-Facer.

    Currently the record for most-consumed Manwich stands at thirteen, set by a former employee who was with our department for only a year. No one has dared to break this record since, or even come close to it. I think the second highest record is eight, set by Sam. What’s my personal record, you ask? I’m pretty sure it’s four. But I have only had two the past couple years. I’m not as verile as I used to be.

    So, dear friends, yet another Manwich Day comes to a close. And in truth, this event is really what herolds the upcoming holiday season for us in Creative.

    Happy Manwich Day to all, and to all…gentle digestion.

  • November4th

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    This past weekend we threw our first ever Halloween party, and it was fantastic. We really had a blast. Of course the fact that I was mixing up some ridiculously strong drinks might have had something to do with the extreme merriment. Whoops. There were some great costumes, too– Sam’s Mexican bandito, Sean & Holly’s record and record player, Steve’s Neil Diamond, Mel and Dan’s pair of dice. Of course, Michael and I looked pretty dang funny as two different David Bowies – “Labyrinth” Bowie and “Aladdin Sane” Bowie. And yes folks, I wore a unitard. Using the restroom was quite an interesting event, needless to say. The running joke of the evening was “A tard in a unitard.” (not very PC, I realize – apologies) Steve, aka Neil Diamond, serenaded us several times throughout the evening with both Neil Diamond songs and Bowie tunes. My personal favorite was Diamond doing Bowie via “China Girl.” I posted it on YouTube – CLICK HERE to view. Keep in mind it’s a totally stupid video and we were, uh, drunk. Thanks to me of course – I should never be allowed behind a bar again. And just because drinks are strong, doesn’t mean they taste good.

    For photos from the party, click below.

  • October27th

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    Unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to try out one of Denver’s newest restaurants on South Broadway. This new establishment, Beatrice & Woodsley, has a unique forest decor and supposedly pretty good food. Seeing as the place is another creation of the owners of Double Daughters, it’s got to be pretty cool. Well this week, on Wednesday, Oct. 29th, Beatrice & Woodsley are hosting Ghosts by Lantern Light – a special five course dinner by lantern light. As their website states, you can “expect an evening of uncommon cuisine and peculiar service.” And this is no lie, considering their menu for the evening: First course is a cheese plate (normal enough), followed by the Second Course – Turtle Soup (not sure if it really IS turtle or not), then Third Course – Black Cod, Fourth Course: Slaughterhouse Three, which is beef cheek, lamb tongue and veal sweetbreads (which I’m pretty sure is brains, if I’m not mistaken). And of course dessert, which actually sounds fabulous: gingerbread-crusted sweet potato pie topped with spiced caramel ice cream. Crazy. While the entrees may sound, um, weird, I’m sure they will be expertly cooked and will probably taste pretty darn good. This unusual meal is $55 per person and reservations are limited. For reservations call 303-777-3505.

  • October27th

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    This weekend the hubbs and I did some serious Halloween prepping. This is a big deal, because Michael is somewhat of a tightwad when it comes to ponying up for stuff like decorations, costumes and home improvements of any kind. But, I have to say, he was a trooper. Part of his agreeing to join me in a Halloween shopping menagerie involved me agreeing to attend a toys and collectibles show (geeks ahoy) in Northglenn. After a little whining, I reluctantly agreed to climb aboard the good ship Nerds-a-lot. Said dork fiesta was held at the Ramada Inn off I-25 & 120th, in their restaurant atrium, which BTW smelled faintly like urine. Splendid. Once inside a large room packed with tons of crap and the weird vendors selling it, I started having a good time. Michael and I piled through boxes of old action figures, postcards and records. We cringed at the prolific collections of dolls that stared blankly at us from plastic eyeballs. We laughed at old lunchboxes and toys we used to have as kids. We nearly vomited when the speaker announced the commencement of the “bobbing for action figures” event. Sick. Bottom line: I actually had a great time.

    After Mike blew some dough at the toy show (one fantastical vintage record, “Big Dame Hunter,” with a cheesecake leopard skin-clad lass on the cover, and one Rat Fink bobblehead), we stopped at a fantastical costume and party shop in Broomfield. This place was awesome. The outside of the building was set up like a castle, complete with giant fiberglass dragons and huge fuzzy spiders. Inside the place went on and on. After picking up a bag of severed body parts, we made our way over to the costume section. Tons of costumes and spooky masks. Unfortunately there was a whole section dedicated to slutty Halloween costumes, too. Why do chicks feel the need to look like complete whores on Halloween? Anyway, Michael was able to pick something out to complete his costume (details post-Halloween) and I had my bag of stumps. It was glorious.

    Finally, we made our way to the pumpkin patch at Rock Creek Farm in Broomfield/Lafayette. That place is great. There were a ton of people driving in and out, but they had the whole thing totally organized down to the pumpkin shears. Once you got your shears and an info sheet, you make your way to the multitudes of pumpkins that lay waiting in huge fields behind the farm. There were acres and acres of pumpkins – I’ve never seen so many! Nor had I ever been to a pumpkin patch. It was really fun. After scouting out the fields, we picked a spot to park and gather up some pumpkins. A lot of them were already mushy or completely squashed. But we managed to find some pretty cool ones – most of which are ENORMOUS. We left with 5 pumpkins and a feeling of heartbreak because we had no extra money to purchase some of their homemade goodies. As we were leaving there was a cute lab that was hanging out the sunroof of the car ahead of us. That and the sunset were the perfect endings to our autumn day. Check out our photos below.

  • October20th

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    Avoid the imminent long lines at the polls and vote early. There have been several warnings from city officials in Denver predicting insanely long lines this November, and the best option is to participate in early voting. I actually just voted today – hooray! And it couldn’t have been easier, people. Well, my situation is a little different. I registered for mail-in voting a few weeks ago, so all I had to do was fill out my ballot and drop it off at any one of several mail-in ballot drop-off locations around Denver. Yes, I could’ve just mailed it in, but I didn’t for two reasons: A. I really wanted one of those “I Voted” stickers, and B. I feel safer knowing it’s nestled in locked solid metal box in a government building, versus floating around in the mail. While mail-in voting registration has already deadlined, you can still vote early if you’re already a registered voter. If you did register in time for mail-in voting and haven’t received your ballot yet, DO NOT vote at a polling station. You have to vote via mail if that’s what you registered for initially.

    For more info on early voting in Denver, visit DenverVotes.org.

    Polls around Denver doing early voting (must be a Denver resident):

    360 Hooker Street
    Senior Center
    690 Colorado Boulevard
    Fellowship Hall
    3888 East Mexico Avenue
    Lobby
    550 East Iliff Avenue
    Multipurpose Room
    2120 South Tennyson Way
    Multipurpose Room
    3334 Holly Street
    Multipurpose Room
    1700 East 28th Avenue
    Gymnasium
    15555 East 53rd Avenue
    Multipurpose Room
    729 Ulster Way
    Multipurpose Room
    2855 West Holden Place
    half of Gymnasuim
    5031 West 46th Avenue
    Gymnasium
    7777 East Hampden Avenue
    East Atrium
    201 West Colfax Avenue
    Central Atrium
  • October20th

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    This past Saturday night, me, my hubby and Steve splashed some blood on our faces and joined the deranged masses on 16th St. mall downtown for the 3rd Annual Denver Zombie Crawl. It was a HOOT. There were reportedly over 200 people walking in the crawl – all dressed to the nines in zombie regalia. The crawl started at the Denver Pavilions and ended at Double Daughters Salotto on Market St. Along the way there were tons of people laughing, taking pictures, and just watching. There were also quite a few al fresco diners eating on the patios of Marlowe’s and Paramount – some were amused by the zombie heckling, others were trying ferociously to ignore the weirdos dressed as dead people, pawing over their meals. There were also passer-by’s who would weave in and out of the crowd, giggling with what I’m guessing was a combination of slight fear and delight. I think most people just didn’t want to get fake blood on them. Some fellow zombies, however, were taking giant swigs of fake blood and immediately spitting it out, creating a “I just gnawed on somebody’s brains” effect. Personally I think they were borderline insane to put that stuff in their mouths – pretty sure it has that Red No. 4 in it or whatever. Gross. Anyway, we slowly made our way down to Double Daughters, where we happily gulped down many beers. After walking 12 blocks to the bar with your mouth cracked open and tongue dangling out the whole way, your mouth tends to get pretty dry. Overall the crawl was a giant success, and we had a blast taking part in it. Braaaainssss………..